Managing our Inner Voices to reduce Mental Clutter
December brings more “shoulds” than usual in our minds… all those high expectations for making the holidays meaningful and fun for ourselves and others. Then there are those nagging expectations to make and carry through on resolutions for 2022.
First – let’s learn the difference between an effective inner voice that thinks things through and calms us and “chatter” which is an endless loop of worry getting us nowhere. The main question we can ask ourselves is: Am I moving forward or am I covering the same ground again?
What interferes with out taming the clutter and chatter in our minds?
Perfectionists (we know who we are) more easily fall into the trap of negative self-talk, often for things that no longer matter, but we keep going over it in a rut. Our inner voice is an inhibitor rather than a resource.
Do you have reduced problem-solving energy? Using our inner voice positively takes energy. If our tank is empty, our inner self becomes just another “difficult person” causing our level of stress to rise. Too much on our plate without taking time for rest and rejuvenation drains our energy.
Chatter takes a stressful experience and prolongs it over time.
What can we do?
What issues can we remove? Does this need to be done right now – could we not do it all, delegate it to someone else, or put it off until a better time.
Get out in nature. Putting some distance between ourself and our issue allows us to recharge. Walking outside puts our problems into scale with the big wide world we live in. The sense of awe being outside can make our problems seem smaller.
Halt a particularly bad chatter spiral by calling yourself by name. Calling our name creates a distance mentally – we are better able to get out of the way and get to the problem. “OK Linda, here are your options….”
Imagine talking with your “wiser, elder self” in six months or a year or the end of life. Ask, “In six months, looking back at this situation, what would appear to be important?” Reflecting on this will help you recognize what you need to pay attention to right now. It helps us sort out what truly matters and what doesn’t.
If you want to learn more about this, check out the book Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross. He is a psychologist and neuroscientist who shows how we can harness our inner voice to live a healthier, more satisfying, and more productive life. This book is a Winter 2021 Winning Selection of Daniel Pink’s Next Big Idea Club.
Happy Holidays!
